Self-affirmation

Are you struggling with your low self-esteem and confidence?

Self-Affirmation will help you set your personal values intact, take control of yourself and be the person you want to be. You will become the master of our fate. You will be the only one who is behind the steering wheel of your life. You will be the one who is navigating to the destination of success.

First of all, we must understand what self-affirmation really is and how it works. Then, we will learn how to practice self-affirmation to have personal growth. For that, the following topics will be covered.

• What is self-affirmation?
• What is Self-affirmation Theory?
• What are self-affirmation examples?
• How do you do self-affirmation?

What is Self-affirmation?

Self-affirmation is the act of affirmation one's values, personal integrity and worthiness. When we are affirmed that we are good enough and we believe we can achieve something, no obstacle can stop us.

 However, most of us don't have that kind of confidence. We all are filled with self-doubt since we live in a society of prejudices and stereotypes. With all those people who try to define us or label us, we sometimes become who they want us to be. When a teacher put labels on students such as top students, average students and poor students, most poor students will not become better and the average will remain average. Labels keep reminding them that they are poor and they will never get better. It becomes their value. A research done by Vicky Plows shows that when students are labelled with positive values, they become better and they live up to those expectations. We can say that it also a form of affirming. 

People will say that we could not do this and do that and this was not for us. We also sometimes say these things to ourselves. We become what we think. When our thoughts are all negative such as "I am not good enough, I am not worthy, I will not make it and I don't have it in me," these will become realities. Have you ever wondered why you can't seem to improve while having these kinds of thoughts? You are simply self-affirming with these negative thoughts and you don't notice that.  But, we will become unbreakable when we are self-affirmed with our core positive values.

What is Self-affirmation Theory?

Self-affirmation theory is a psychological theory conducted by Claude Steele, a social psychologist in the late 1980s. It remained a well-studied theory. This theory focus on how people adapt to information or experiences that threaten their self-identity. It deals with four principles.

The first principle states that everyone has a self-identity and we try to protect it. We have our own roles such as a mother, a teacher, a friend, a brother or a sister. We have our own values such as smart, friendly, funny, responsible, helpful, generous, envious, hot-headed, headstrong or reckless. We have different belief systems. These three make up one's identity. We use every way possible to protect our identity.

The second principle conducts that when we encounter situations that threaten or challenge our self-identity, we become defensive. This defensiveness often leads to denial. Life is full of surprises over which we have little control. Especially when we have to face with failure, we sometimes become defensive. We deny our mistakes and try to blame it on other people or fate instead of trying to fix what went wrong. Or sometimes, we question ourselves values and become doubtful of our own ability. This can finally lead to depression.

The third principle states that this self-integrity is flexible. We can always adopt new beliefs and new characters. We all know that people somehow change. Just look at ourselves. The self at the teenage is probably different now. We are at constant change. We can change for better or for worse. It is just a matter of choice. What we choose to think or what we choose to do become who we are. We can reprogram our thoughts and our core values with self-affirmation.

The fourth principle states that we perform better if we affirmed with positive values. The psychologists conducted an experiment on engineering students. They divided the students into two groups. The first group was made to listen to self-affirmations first and the second group was not. Then the two groups had to perform stressful tasks. It is found that the first group who were self-affirmed performed the tasks better. Experimental investigations show that people who are self-affirmed can cope with more stress and can work well under pressure. 

What are self-affirmation examples?

There are many self-affirmation examples according to different personalities and needs. Some of them will be mentioned below.

• I am happy.
• I am free from negative thoughts.
• I believe in myself.
• I love myself.
• I enjoy my work.
• I am confident.
• I am trying my best everyday.
• I never give up.
• I am motivated.
• I am in charge of my life.
• I am responsible.
• I see opportunities around me.

How do you do self-affirmation?

After you have understood what self-affirmation is, some of you may feel a little reluctant to believe it. Some may not believe it at all. Some are ready to try it. Whatever you feel, there is nothing to lose. Just try it. But, You have to do self-affirmation properly to get the most out of it. How to do self-affirmation will be explained in the following steps.

Know yourself

Identify the areas you want to improve. Be honest with yourself. You have to make a list of things that you want to adopt or change. They could be anything. They could be your negative qualities. They could be new positive qualities you want to possess.  All you have to do is to admit them and to have a will to change. 

Write it down

You can write your own affirmations or choose the ready made ones which suit you. If you choose to write your own affirmations, use only positive language. Because our brain doesn't really care about positive or negative and it just takes in the idea. For example, when you say yourself, " I am not short-tempered," the brain only sees the word "short-tempered" and it will bring back all the memories and events related to it. So, it is like you are just affirming yourself to be short-tempered. 

While you are doing this, you may think that it is impossible to attain what you want. That is what self-affirmation is all about. It is rewiring your thoughts and your beliefs. Your disbeliefs will become beliefs and the impossible will become possible with self-affirmation.

Say it

Some psychologists recommend to say your affirmations out loud. They say it is more effective when you hear your self-affirmations. But, it might not convenient for some of you to speak out loud. I can whisper them or just say them in your mind. But, to have the same effects, you must be mindful. When you say your affirmations, feel them and imagine yourself that you are already that person and you already possess that values. 

The best time to say your affirmations is before you go to bed and when you wake up. Stop checking your phone once you wake up and going to bed with it, say your affirmations. Say it only four or five minutes every morning and every night.

Be patient

You cannot have fruits as soon as you grow the plant. It takes time. Be patient and be persistent. You will get what you want. 

Well, my dear readers, it is not even difficult. You just have to say it daily and have a positive mindset. I believe you will make it.

 But if it still seems impossible, I have found another way for you. 

It is a program called InnerTalk. 

It is a self-help technology that has been researched by numerous independent universities and institutions and been demonstrated effective at priming how you speak to yourself.

 InnerTalk uses a special form of dichotic masking. It means that you will hear voices from time to time but you will be unable to discriminate the messages. This methods ensures that your little negative self cannot interfere or argue back the positive statements. For example, the message or affirmation maybe ''I am great.'' But with this masking technique, you cannot actually interpret this message so your self-doubts and negative thoughts can't surface. You do not know what the message is but your subconscious mind does. All you have to do is listen to these like you listen to some music. It works so you don't have to.

Using other self-help programs, most people resort to old behaviors. InnerTalk provides effortless, positive change for the mind. The InnerTalk technology goes right to the source of the problem and corrects the self-destructive beliefs that need to be changed. 

Don't wait up. Sign up now and change your life.